Tennyson In Memoriam

I have always held dear to my heart the poetry of Tennyson - he was introduced to me when I was a small child my Grandmother, and he stuck with me as a passionate and dark poet throughout my school years.

I have not thought of Tennyson's poetry for many years, maybe not since I finished my A-levels - a long time anyway.

Today I thought of some of his words of wisdom and have questioned them.

From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

In truth, I have never really thought about this, and have often said the words - but have never really thought of the meaning behind them.

Is it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

If one has never loved, surely they know not of what they are missing?

Life does not stop or pause, just because someone has never felt love.

There is far too much of life put into trying to fall in love, to find a mate for life, monogomy - something that in our history is not really part of our instincts it has to be said.

Having said this - I feel we are better than this - well most of us anyway, and it really isn't that hard to commit to one person for life, especially if you really love them - and here we are back at better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Personally I am in love with my husband, I feel alive when I am with him and as if something is partially missing when he is not there - I did not feel this before we were together - I assume I was a complete person back in the days before I had commited myself to another human being??

If, for some reason he was to be gone from my life, would Iforever feel that something was missing - something I hadn't missed before I was with him, but ultimately has become so integral to my life as I know it - if he was gone I would feel only partial to what I feel now?

So is it really better to have loved and lost than never loved at all???

Had I never met my husband, had I never bothered to go out there and find that special someone to spend the rest of my life with..I would surely have never loved, so would never miss that special feeling when you are with the person you are destined to spend the rest of your life with.

There is the key - I hunted him down, for want of a better phrase - I actively wanted to find a person to fall in love with and settle down with. Although I was a complete person before I met my husband, and I was happy most of the time, there was obviously something that I was missing, something I wanted (no don't be rude!!) that special someone to come home to at night, and who would help me to shut the doors and close the curtains and make a special safe place away from the world at large.

So yet again Tennyson, you have spoken wise words indeed.

It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

To that I raise a glass and be thankful to the love of my life.