I feel very confused at the moment, I have been feeling confused for about the last two years, and the mists of confusion are not getting any clearer with the passing of time.
I have tried to change things that I thought might need changing, and either they didn't need changing or I have changed them for the very wrong thing.....
I am constantly chasing my tail and fed up with working and living to someone elses ideals.
The name of this blog is seeking perfection, because ultimately that is what everyone is after - a way of living life to your own idea of perfection.
Sometimes I feel like perfection is dangled in front of me like a carrot before a donkey, and that someday I might be able to grab hold of it and have a go - but grabbing carrots and being after the perfect life is not something we should be thinking about. We are all expected to be happy with our lot, and perfection is something to be snorted at. But in reality we all want it. We all strive for it. Perfection for everyone is something different.
Perfection for me today would be for my dear other half to get a job he is after, that the money is good enough that I can become a stay at home Mum, pathetic in a feminist world I know, but its what I want. Feminism is supposed to be about choices, but I don't really feel we are quite there yet as there are still too few choices for all but the very very rich, or the extremely selfish - and I mean that for men and women - children and the elderly. Choices are few and often forced. To be given a real choice must be quite wonderful.
The thing with perfection is that it changes everyday, so I guess its part of life that we will always be seeking it and never quite getting it. I'll keep you posted if it ever happens!
3 comments:
perfection only comes in retrospect,once we have time to have forgotten all the little niggley upsets and can see the bigger picture you can look back and see a job well done
You are so right - there is no choice for many. And there is nothing pathetic about wanting to be a stay at home mum. You do your best for your family, you love them and they're a credit to you. But still hold on to your dreams, we all need those xxx
Perfection is probably the wrong word - a word we use for happy sometimes but is perfection always equal to happy?
To be honest I am so confused I can't remember what my dreams were or are! I'll get more than a minute to think one day and shock myself with a revelation!!!
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